Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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