i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
