i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize