Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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