Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
