You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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