i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize