Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
