This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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