On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
