Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
