Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
