Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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