Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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