yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
