I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
