After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
