I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
