the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
