One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
