First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize