her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
