I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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