Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
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Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
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Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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