new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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