Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
