someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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