This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
