Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize