he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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