Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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