if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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