Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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