the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
