Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
