He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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