just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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