GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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