i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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