There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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