Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
