If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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