whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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