just tell him i said nine months
i just google imaged poop.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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