this will be a night to untag.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize