Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
