I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
