I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
