i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
