i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize