i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
