Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
