Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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