Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
if only i could text you this smell
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
